The Only Filipino in South Park
by The Wolf of the Philippines
Summary: A New Kid comes over to South Park for a new start! He makes a not-so-subtle entrance in the school's cafeteria.
1. The Not-So-Subtle Entrance

CHAPTER ONE: THE NEW KID IN SCHOOL

THIS FANFICTION IS SET A YEAR AFTER THE BOYS BEING AT FOURTH GRADE

Cartman was eating alongside with his usual gang, Token, Butters, Stan, Kyle, Craig and Kenny and the others, they were surprised that suddenly, a new kid silently goes to the table and sits by Cartman's gang. A few minutes of the boys staring at Denzel, (or Denzel P. Ballestar by his full name.) Cartman shouts " What the fuck are you doing here?" The New Kid being as silent as possible, he suddenly decks Cartman in the face, leaving him on the ground. Kyle says "Dude, what the hell was that for?" Denzel says, "I thought you hated him." Kyle said, "How did you know that?" then Denzel answers, " I heard you guys back in the lockers, then you say, " Goddamn it, Cartman! I'm getting annoyed of your shit!" and then you suddenly leave.

Mr. Mackey comes, and says, "New Kid, get over here! M'kay." The kid suddenly says, "Aw, crap."

"Ok, kid, that was not cool, decking a kid in the face, m'kay. I know you're new here, but that isn't an excuse of decking Cartman in the face." Cartman adds up "Nice fist you got there, brah. Maybe you can actually beat me up for a bit. Not as bad as Wendy did..." Mr. Mackey, however, says. "Anyway, I'm going to let you off the moment first, m'kay? This is your first offense, and it will be ignored, don't do that again, m'kay." The kid says "Thanks, Mr. Mackey."

Cartman, later, after leaving the office, "Dude, that was sweet brah, Decking me in the face, I never got a warm punch from everyone." "Shut up, Cartman."

As they enter the classroom of Mr. Garrison, the kid, picked a seat, and it was in the middle, right beside Bebe.

Bebe asks, "Hey! What's your name?"

Denzel: "Denzel."

Bebe: "I think you're pretty hot!" *Everyone in the classroom hears it*

All girls: "Ooooohh! Bebe has a crush on the New Kid!"

Denzel: "Shut up."


	2. After School The Next Day

CHAPTER 2 PART 1: AFTER SCHOOL

After school, The new kid and the boys go walk along the streets, the boys show the usual hotspots of South Park to the new kid.  
" And this is Tom's Rhinoplasty." The kid says: "The fuck? Rhinoplasty? I can look like a Rhino after surgery?" Cartman answers:"No, but you can look like David Hasselhoff!" Kid answers again: "Why the hell would I wan to look like David Hasselhoff?" Cartman says: "You both have the same skin color." Kid: "Fuck off."

Cartman says: "Anyway, want come over to my house to play?" Kyle adds:"Goddamit, Cartman! You're going to manipulate him again to do some stupid stuff you want him to do don't you?" Cartman answers: "Sshhhhh, Don't tell him..." Kyle adds:"Don't go to his, Kid! Go to mine! I'm getting sick of thes Fat-Ass' shit!"  
Denzel:"Goddamn, Choices, choices..."  
Stan:"Maybe come to mine!"  
Kenny: *muffled* "Maybe mine?"  
Denzel: "No thanks Kenny, I've seen your house and what it looks like."  
Kenny: *Muffled* "Fuckin' asshole..."  
Denzel:"You know what, why not just all you guys come over to my house?"  
The Boys:"That's a good idea."

When Denzel goes to his house, Zip-Code 100426, his mom greets him:"Are these your new friends?"

Denzel:"Yes."  
Mom:"I hope they are well behaved!"

When they go back upstairs, Denzel says: "Well behaved, my ass!"  
The boys laughed.

Two hours later, after playing Battlefield 4 for a long time, there was a sudden doorbell ring. Denzel, opened the door,"Yes?"

Denzel: "Oh, it's you, Bebe."  
Bebe: " I was just about to ask, would you hang-out with me sometime?"  
Denzel: "Maybe, let me think about it." *Closes the door and says goodbye."

Cartman: "Oh, man! Bebe totally has a crush on you, dude!"  
Kyle: "You're just lucky! Everytime a new boy in town comes around, the girls remake the list of the cutest boys!"  
Cartman: " And Kyle was last the last time it was made. Hahahaha!"  
Kyle: "Shut up, dude, It wasn't the real list!"  
Denzel: "Let's just cut to the crap, when do the girls make the list?"  
Stan: "They make one every week."  
Denzel: "Cool. Let's see if they are willing to let me distribute the list to boys."  
Kenny: "You decided yet who you're going out with?"  
Denzel: "No, there are still plenty of girls meet, I'll take my chances."  
Cartman: "A playboy, I see."  
Denzel: "Shut up! I'm not!"

CHAPTER 2: PART 2: The Next Day.

As they walk over to school, Wendy suddenly shows up to Denzel, and says:

Wendy: "Here is the list for the cutest boys!"  
Denzel: "Oh, huh, cool, Thanks!"  
Cartman:"Dude, how did you easily get their whole list collection?"  
Denzel: "Shoes."  
Stan: "That's what I thought"  
Denzel: "Let's Just look at the damn list."

CUTEST BOYS OF SOUTH PARK!

1. Denzel Ballestar  
2. Clyde Donovan  
3. Stan Marsh  
4. Kyle Broflovski  
5. Craig Tucker  
6. Kenny McCormick  
7. Token Black  
8. Jimmy Valmer  
9. Butters Stotch  
UGLIEST: Eric Cartman

Eric, In surprise, is furious and suddenly shouting out German stuff.

Cartman: "How the hell is Kyle hotter than me!"  
Kyle: "Aha! I told you!"  
Denzel: "How the hell am I the cutest?"  
Stan: "Clyde was the cutest back then, when you weren't here."  
Denzel: "My ass."  
Cartman: "Tell me your secret."  
Denzel: "I don't have one, I just became first."  
Cartman: "There's probably something about being the new kid. I'm going to find out!"  
Denzel: "Don't even dare read my Journal!" 


	3. Persona

Denzel: "Goddamit Cartman! Get back here!"  
Cartman: "If you want your personal stuff back, them go after it!"  
Denzel: *Draws a Katana* "Give it back. NOW!"  
Cartman: "Ok, ok, jeez, Here!"  
Denzel: *Slashes katana on the legs* "That'll teach you to mess with me, do it again, and I'll do it to your balls."

LATER

Kyle: "Dude! Did you really just slashed Cartman's legs and left him for dead?"  
Denzel: "Yes."  
Stan: "Never mind that, Kyle. Cartman was a douche anyways."  
Butters: "Right!"  
Denzel: "Butters! Where the hell did you come from?"  
Butters: "Behind you."  
Clyde: "You really had to steal my position in that list, didn't you, new kid?"  
Denzel: "Maybe you should work your own ass off in getting #1!  
Craig: "You better be careful around here, new kid. Or we'll kick your ass."  
Denzel: *Draws Katana* "Not if I slashed your balls first."  
Craig's gang: "Woah."  
Jimmy: "Craig, maybe w-we have to be careful a-a-around him!"  
Craig: "Dude, tell us more about you."

*While Craig's gang were talking with Denzel, Stan and Kyle discussed about him*

Stan: "Do you think that there's something wrong with Denzel?"  
Kyle: "Definitely, he shows that he is hiding a really dark secret."  
Cartman: "Hey, what are you guys talking about?"  
Kyle: "The Kid, Fatass!"  
Cartman: "Well, there's something probably wrong with him."  
Stan: "All I know is, he came from the Philippines, and he is 12 Years Old."  
Cartman: "From the Philippines? You mean the country that got destroyed by that supertyphoon?"  
Kyle: "Not all of it was destroyed, fatass, Only the Middle part."

Back at Mr. Garrison's Class...

Denzel: "Dude, who is that girl beside you?"  
Stan: "Wendy Testaburger, why?"  
Denzel: "Nothing."  
Cartman: "Come on, Kyle, Use your magical Jew powers to detect what he is planning!"  
Kyle: "I don't have powers, goddamit!"

*Later, after school...*

Denzel: "You know Stan, I really don't mind tappin' dat ass."  
Stan: "Who?"  
Denzel: "You know..."  
Stan: "You do know that she was my ex, right?"  
Denzel: "Aw, crap."  
Stan: "I mean, come on, there's plenty of other girls there, like you said! There's Bebe, and Heidi and, well, Wendy."  
Denzel: "Aren't those three the popular girls?"  
Stan: "Why would you worry? You're pretty popular among the girls."  
Denzel: " Oh, right. The List."  
Suddenly, Cartman was running as fast as he could to Stan and Denzel, probably a warning.  
Cartman: "Denzel! Dude, Bebe's getting obsessed over you!"  
Denzel: "What? We just met in... I guess, three days?  
Cartman: "I know that! I saw Bebe's bedroom, there's some sort of shrine there!"  
Denzel: "I call bullshit, it's another one of your traps, is it?"  
Stan: "I call bullshit too."  
Cartman: "How did you know?"  
Denzel: "Fucking knew it."

*AT CARTMAN'S HOUSE*

Cartman: "Dude, what's your crime record?"  
Denzel: "I have it here."

CRIME RECORD= DENZEL P. BALLESTAR

Sex

and Run

Cartman: "Underage Sex? What the hell?"  
Denzel: "Don't ask, some girl had sex with me without my knowledge a few months ago."  
Cartman: "You already said why."  
Denzel: "Aw, fuck!"  
Stan: "Dude, really? Under age sex?"  
Kyle: "What?"  
Denzel: "WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY?" 


End file.
